Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
