What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
