I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
