why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
