whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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