wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
