Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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