Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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