At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Mom said you looked used
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
