What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
