Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
