I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
