it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
