what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
