we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
