So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
