Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
