No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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