2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
