she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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