How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
