Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
