it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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