ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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