i don't like sucking hair
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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