And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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