I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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