you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
