So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
