Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
