Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
