I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
