fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
