i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
