One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
