I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize