we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
