Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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