What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
