K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
