She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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