Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
