So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
