VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
