umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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