Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
