I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
