but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
