I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
