So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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