you guys were way drunker than both of me
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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