I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
