you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
