I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
