I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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