Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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