once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
