He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
