am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
