BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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